The Australian military once deployed soldiers armed with Lewis machine guns to fight a war against emus. They lost. Not metaphorically. Not "kind of." They actually, genuinely, officially lost to birds. 💀
After World War I, the Australian government gave land to veterans in Western Australia. Sweet deal, right? Except the government also promised farming subsidies — and then, shockingly, did not deliver them. 😭
Then, as if things couldn't get worse, approximately 20,000 emus showed up and decided the struggling farmers' wheat fields were an all-you-can-eat buffet. The farmers, who had survived literal trench warfare, were now being defeated by birds. They asked the government for help.
The government sent the military. With machine guns. 🤯
Major G.P.W. Meredith of the Royal Australian Artillery led the charge. His army consisted of himself, two other soldiers, two Lewis machine guns, and 10,000 rounds of ammunition. They also brought a Fox Movietone cinematographer — because apparently someone thought this would be great PR. 👀
It was not great PR.
On November 2, 1932, they arrived at Campion and spotted about 50 emus. The birds were out of range. Farmers tried to herd them into an ambush. The emus split into small groups and scattered. The machine guns were basically useless. 🫠
Two days later, over 1,000 emus were spotted heading toward their position. Meredith waited. The birds got close. He opened fire — and the gun jammed after killing just 12. The rest of the flock scattered. No more birds were seen that day. ⚡
The emus used guerrilla tactics. No, really. An ornithologist literally described it as "the Emu command had evidently ordered guerrilla tactics." The birds split into small units to make the military equipment "uneconomic." These are birds. 🐦
Meredith tried mounting a machine gun on a truck. The truck couldn't keep up with the emus, and the terrain was so rough the gunner couldn't aim. The emus outran a vehicle. 😱
After six days, they had fired 2,500 rounds and killed somewhere between 50 and 500 birds — accounts vary wildly, which tells you everything you need to know about how this was going.
The bad press got so intense that the military was recalled on November 8. They retreated. From birds. 🏳️
Major Meredith — the man who commanded this operation — later said of the emus: "They can face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks." He compared them to Zulus. He said if his soldiers had the emus' "bullet-carrying capacity," they could face any army in the world. 👑
The military came back for a second attempt in November. They did slightly better — killing around 986 birds total across both campaigns, using 9,860 rounds. That's 10 bullets per confirmed kill. Against birds.
And the best part? Farmers requested military assistance again in 1934, 1943, and 1948. The government said no every single time. Apparently once was enough. 💅
Never underestimate a 6-foot-tall bird that runs 30 mph, absorbs bullets like a tank, and has apparently mastered the art of guerrilla warfare. The emus were simply built different. 🦅
Emu War | Australia, Casualties, History, Summary & Facts - Britannica
The Great Emu War: How Flightless Birds Beat the Australian Military - History Hit
